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The game called life - with everyone being their own therapist in it

12/6/2011

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I don't know anybody who doesn't like or enjoy playing (board)-games, doesn't like watching television, movies, series, soap, etc, etc... And especially I don't know anybody who doesn't like watching the misery or failures of others, because we are so afraid of making mistakes ourselves, that without knowing it, we can't stop seeing the imperfections in others, because that is how we learn not to make the same mistakes. Or at least, that is/was the point of making mistakes, so we can learn (from each other). But people are nowadays so consumed with themselves that the point of learning just changed in watching the failures of others just to get some sense of pleasure that you did not make the same (dumb) mistake. Or even worse, we judge. We play the judges of other all the time, while we all are doing the same bad things, just in different colors. The funny thing is, you  are probably doing the same mistakes right now in your life, that everyone also does, but you are so full of yourself, that you don't even notice your mistakes any more. 

Life has to be fun. Or I've decided that life has to be fun, but to do the things that I want or to just play this game as fairly as I can, I've had to set some game rules for myself. So, before I start the journey of life I have to finish this game-plan or at least know what the rewards are and what the punishments are and especially what the rules of the game are. Spirituality does not need to be taken so seriously, because life is already a serious business. You have to start taking yourself seriously, that is spirituality. Stop playing the bad games and start playing the only real game; life.


Today two very special friends of mine asked me if I don't find it difficult that they are now so many people thinking that I've gone crazy or have psychotic outbreaks or what every you want to call it. My answer was no, I'm actually enjoying it, because now I can see and learn a lot of things. The first lesson is, I did a study (psychology) where actually everyone thinks that they already know what all the concepts are and thus can by themselves judge on the conditions of others. So, actually I am ashamed of calling myself a psychologist, because everyone already thinks and believes that they are one! So in a way, it would for me be the same as I go to a dentist and tell the dentist what and how to fix my teeth, or that I now go to an electrician and tell them how to fix the electric wires. Wow, if that was true, could I go in the Nuna team? Maybe Nuna 7? ;-) 
So, keep judging, it will only show your insecurities to me.


The second lesson is and other lessons are for me to know and learn. As I've said before, this is my journey and I can't tell you which way you have to go or which path you have to take. I can advice you, but then you will be doing the things that I advice you to do, I can do that of course, but the question here is, is that functional? Will you accept my advises or will you just be so stubborn and reject all of my ideas? I have learned that the third option is the one people mostly chooses. If you don't accept the changes in your life, you will either go back to the same lifestyle or you will just by yourself choose a different way.


That is why psychologist (almost) never (can) tell you what to do, because it won't work, because you, yes you, are too stubborn to accept these (good) advises. So, one of my new rules of life is then, I will only give advises to people that really want it or need it. Every other case will just be pointless and a waste of my time. And time is precious, too precious to go to waste like that. And that is why I also understand my colleagues and especially my cousin who get's frustrated that people  think that they are so smart and that they already know everything about themselves, while in the mean time we see that they maybe only know half of the things for sure. That's frustrating to a therapist. But you can either live with this fact of life and people or you can choose a different path of less resistance. 

Feel free to call me lazy, but I chose the latter.  

Alvin



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